When You Cannot Carry It Alone

Exodus 18:17–18 (ESV)

“Moses’ father-in-law said to him, ‘What you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone.’”

Exodus 18 gives us a very practical and needed picture of leadership, wisdom, and humility.

Moses is leading the people of Israel after their deliverance from Egypt. God has brought them through the Red Sea, provided manna in the wilderness, brought water from the rock, and given them victory over Amalek. Moses has been used by God in incredible ways.

But then Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, comes to visit.

He hears all that God has done. He rejoices in the Lord’s deliverance. He offers worship and sacrifice. But then he watches Moses at work. From morning until evening, Moses sits as judge for the people, and the people stand around him waiting for help, direction, and decisions.

At first glance, Moses may look faithful.

He is working hard. He is serving people. He is helping solve problems. He is trying to be available. He is doing meaningful work.

But Jethro sees something Moses may not have been able to see clearly.

“What you are doing is not good.”

That is a strong statement.

Jethro is not saying the work is bad. He is saying the way Moses is carrying the work is not sustainable. The need is real, but Moses is not designed to carry it by himself. The people need leadership, but Moses cannot be the only person through whom everything flows.

“You are not able to do it alone.”

That is not an insult.

That is wisdom.

There are moments when we need someone in our lives who can lovingly tell us the truth. Someone who can step back, look at the pace we are keeping, the weight we are carrying, the responsibilities we have taken on, and say, “This is too heavy for you to carry alone.”

For a considerable part of my marriage, I felt like I had to carry everything. I had to have the right answers, the right initiatives, the right timing, and the right plan. I felt like I needed to know what to do, when to do it, and how everything should move forward.

But what I began to realize is that this is not how God designed marriage to work.

And by no means was Erica simply standing by while I carried everything. That is not the picture at all. The reality is that I had not always made room for us to carry things together in the way God designed. Instead of functioning as one united team, there were times when we were both carrying way more than we should have been, but not always carrying it together.

My role is to be faithful to my wife. My role is to lead well. But part of leading well is also receiving the help, wisdom, strength, and partnership God has given me in her. Marriage is not one person carrying everything while the other simply watches. It is not even two people carrying separate loads until they are both exhausted. It is a covenant partnership. It is a life being built together.

And when I tried to carry things by myself, I was not actually being faithful to the union God had created. In some ways, I was hindering us from walking fully in the shared calling, gifting, wisdom, and influence God intended for our home and life together.

That is humbling to recognize.

Sometimes we think carrying everything is strength, but it can actually become control. Sometimes we think doing everything ourselves is faithfulness, but it can actually become pride. Sometimes we think we are helping people by carrying the whole load, but we may actually be keeping them from carrying what God has equipped them to carry.

That is what Jethro helps Moses see.

The issue is not whether the work matters. The issue is whether Moses is carrying it in a way that honors God’s design. Jethro tells Moses to teach the people the statutes and laws, show them the way they must walk, and then select capable, trustworthy, God-fearing men to help carry the load. Moses would still lead. Moses would still teach. Moses would still handle the weightiest matters. But he would not carry everything alone.

That is wisdom.

Delegation is not weakness. Shared leadership is not failure. Asking for help is not a lack of faith. Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is recognize that God never called us to carry every burden by ourselves.

And that is not only true for pastors or leaders.

It is true in family life. It is true in marriage. It is true in parenting. It is true in ministry. It is true in work. It is true in friendships. It is true in every place where we are tempted to carry more than God has actually assigned to us.

Some burdens are ours to carry.

Some burdens are ours to share.

And some burdens were never ours to hold in the first place.

Moses had to be humble enough to receive correction, and wise enough to change how he was leading. That is a big part of this chapter. He did not dismiss Jethro because Jethro was not the one who stood before Pharaoh. He did not reject the counsel because he was the main leader. He listened.

That matters.

Sometimes God brings wisdom through people who can see our lives from a different angle. They may see exhaustion we have normalized. They may see unhealthy patterns we have justified. They may see overload that we have started calling faithfulness. And if we are humble enough to listen, their counsel may actually protect us, bless the people around us, and make the work healthier.

So today, ask yourself whether you are carrying something alone that was meant to be shared.

Is there a place where you need to ask for help? Is there a responsibility you need to delegate? Is there a burden you need to release? Is there someone God has placed beside you whose wisdom, gifting, and calling you need to make room for?

God’s work done God’s way should not require us to ignore God’s design.

You were not made to carry everything alone.

And sometimes the path to greater faithfulness begins with the humility to say, “I need help.”

Prayer

Lord, thank You for the wisdom You give through other people. Help us recognize when we are carrying what is too heavy for us to carry alone. Give us humility to receive correction, wisdom to share responsibility, and courage to ask for help when we need it. Teach us to serve, lead, and love faithfully without confusing exhaustion or control with obedience. Help us carry what You have assigned to us, share what was meant to be shared, and release what You have not called us to hold alone. In Jesus’ name, amen.