Where Am I Gripping Control?

Where Am I Gripping Control?

Matthew 1:24 ESV

"When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife."

Matthew 1:18–25 introduces us to Joseph at a moment when the life he had planned suddenly began falling apart.

Joseph was engaged to Mary and preparing for marriage when he discovered that she was pregnant. He did not yet know what God was doing. He did not have the explanation that we have when we read the story today. From Joseph's perspective, the woman he planned to marry was expecting a child that was not his, and the future he had imagined was suddenly gone.

So Joseph did what most of us would probably do.

He started figuring out what to do next.

Matthew tells us that Joseph was a just man and did not want to publicly shame Mary, so he decided to divorce her quietly. His plan was actually thoughtful and compassionate considering what he believed had happened. He was trying to make the best possible decision with the information he had available.

Then God interrupted his plan.

An angel appeared to Joseph in a dream and told him not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife because the child conceived in her was from the Holy Spirit. She would give birth to a son, and Joseph was to name Him Jesus because He would save His people from their sins.

Suddenly Joseph was faced with a completely different decision. Would he continue with the plan that made sense to him, or would he surrender control and trust what God had said?

That is where Joseph's story becomes incredibly practical for me.

I like plans. I like knowing what is happening next. I like being able to look at a situation, think through the possibilities, and determine the best way forward. There is nothing necessarily wrong with any of that. Planning can be wise. The problem comes when my desire to plan becomes a need to control.

Sometimes I can become so committed to the way I think something should happen that I have difficulty recognizing when God may be leading in another direction.

We can do this with almost every area of life. We develop expectations for our marriage, our children, our careers, our finances, our health, our ministry, and our future. Without realizing it, those expectations can slowly turn into something we feel we have to protect.

Then something changes.

A door closes that we expected to remain open. Someone makes a decision we cannot control. A plan we spent months preparing suddenly changes. A relationship becomes complicated. An unexpected expense appears. The future no longer looks the way we thought it would.

Those moments often reveal just how tightly we were holding things.

Joseph could have fought to maintain control. He could have ignored what God said because obedience would complicate his life. Taking Mary as his wife meant accepting a situation that almost everyone around him would misunderstand. People would have questions. His reputation could suffer. There would be consequences he could not manage.

Yet Matthew tells us that when Joseph woke up, he did exactly what the angel of the Lord commanded him.

There is something incredibly powerful about that simple obedience.

Joseph did not receive the entire roadmap. God did not explain everything that would happen over the next several years. Joseph did not yet know about Bethlehem, the shepherds, the wise men, Herod, or the eventual escape to Egypt. He was simply given the next step.

And he took it.

I think one of the reasons we grip control so tightly is because surrender feels risky. We convince ourselves that if we can manage enough details, anticipate enough problems, or prepare for enough possibilities, we can guarantee the outcome we want.

But control often promises something it can never actually give us.

We can make wise decisions, but we cannot control every outcome. We can guide our children, but we cannot make every decision for them. We can work hard, but we cannot guarantee what tomorrow will bring. We can plan carefully, but we cannot remove every interruption.

Eventually, following Jesus requires us to trust Him with things we cannot control.

That does not mean becoming passive or irresponsible. Joseph did not stop acting. He actually became obedient. Surrender is not doing nothing. It is releasing our demand to control the outcome while remaining faithful to whatever God has placed in front of us.

There is a big difference between saying, "God, make my plan work," and saying, "God, show me Your way, and I will follow it."

Joseph chose the second.

And what looked like an interruption to Joseph's plans was actually an invitation into God's plan of redemption. He could not see it yet, but the child he was being asked to receive into his home was the Savior of the world.

Sometimes the thing disrupting our plans is not evidence that God has lost control. It may actually be one of the places where He is asking us to trust His control more deeply.

As I read Matthew 1:18–25, I am reminded to pay attention to the areas where I feel the strongest need to control the outcome. Often those are the very places where surrender is most difficult.

So today, ask yourself where you are gripping control. Is there a situation you continually replay because you are trying to figure out how to make it turn out the way you want? Is there a person whose decisions you are trying to manage? Is there a future outcome you are afraid to place completely in God's hands?

Surrender does not mean that the situation no longer matters to you. It simply means trusting that it matters to God even more.

Like Joseph, you may not receive the entire roadmap. You may simply receive the next faithful step.

Take it.

Prayer

Lord, thank You that You see what I cannot see and know what I cannot know. Forgive me for the times my desire to be wise and prepared becomes a need to control everything around me. Show me the places where I am gripping too tightly to my plans, expectations, or desired outcomes. Give me the faith of Joseph to trust You even when Your way looks different from what I expected. Help me release what I cannot control and faithfully obey what You have placed in front of me today. Jesus, I surrender my way to Yours. In Jesus' name, amen.