What Is Love Asking of Me Here? Matthew 19:21 ESV “Jesus said to him, ‘If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.’” Love becomes difficult when it reaches something we are trying to protect. We may speak warmly about compassion, generosity, and service until one of those words touches a relationship, possession, comfort, or plan we do not want to surrender. Then love becomes a question: What is Jesus asking of me here? Matthew 19 brings that question into several deeply personal parts of life. Jesus speaks about marriage and divorce, honors singleness, welcomes children, confronts the power of possessions, and describes the cost of following Him. These subjects are not abstract. They touch places where people carry joy, longing, failure, grief, fear, and hope. They require both conviction and care. The chapter begins with Pharisees testing Jesus with a question about divorce. They ask whether a man may divorce his wife for any cause. Jesus does not treat marriage as a contract that can be discarded whenever it becomes inconvenient. He returns to the creation story, where male and female are joined in a one-flesh covenant, and says that what God has joined together should not be separated. When they ask why Moses allowed a certificate of divorce, Jesus tells them it was because of hardness of heart. The permission addressed the reality of sin; it did not redefine God’s intention for covenant faithfulness. Jesus then gives a serious warning about divorce and remarriage while naming sexual immorality as an exception. Christians who honor Scripture have differed about some applications of these verses, particularly around divorce, abandonment, abuse, and remarriage. We should not pretend that one brief devotional can resolve every painful circumstance. We can say clearly that Jesus takes covenant seriously and that He confronts the hardness that treats another person as disposable. We must also say clearly that these words should never be used to pressure someone to remain in immediate danger. Seeking safety, reporting abuse, involving appropriate authorities, establishing separation, or asking for professional help is not a failure to love. Church leaders must not protect an institution or preserve an appearance at the expense of someone being harmed. Many people read Matthew 19 while carrying a history they would not have chosen. Some have been abandoned, betrayed, abused, or divorced. Others recognize ways their own hardness contributed to what was broken. Jesus’ teaching invites honesty and repentance, but it does not place anyone beyond grace. The One who speaks truth about covenant also restores lives. After hearing Jesus, the disciples conclude that it may be better not to marry. Jesus answers by speaking about those who do not marry for different reasons, including those who choose singleness for the sake of the kingdom. Marriage is honorable, but it is not the measure of a complete life. Single people are not unfinished adults waiting for their real life to begin. Faithfulness to Jesus gives dignity and purpose to every season and calling. Matthew then describes children being brought to Jesus so that He might place His hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuke the people bringing them, apparently seeing the children as an interruption. Jesus tells them to let the children come and not hinder them, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. Love pays attention to people who possess less influence, power, or usefulness in the eyes of the world. Children can be hurried, spoken over, or treated as obstacles to more important work. The same can happen to older adults, people with disabilities, those who are poor, and anyone unable to increase our status. Jesus does not evaluate people by what they can contribute to our plans. He makes room, offers His attention, and blesses. The chapter then turns to a wealthy young man who asks Jesus what good deed he must do to have eternal life. Jesus directs him to God’s commandments. The man says he has kept them and asks what he still lacks. Jesus tells him to sell what he possesses, give to the poor, and follow Him. The man goes away sorrowful because he has great possessions. Jesus does not give every disciple the identical instruction to sell every possession, but He does call every disciple to complete allegiance. His words expose what owns this particular man’s heart. The young man wants eternal life, but he cannot imagine receiving it if following Jesus costs the wealth that gives him security and identity. Possessions are not harmless simply because they were earned honestly or used responsibly. Money can become a measure of worth, comfort can become a demand, and success can become a way of proving that our lives matter. We may own less than the young man and still be controlled by what we are afraid to lose. Jesus’ command also joins surrender to love of neighbor. The man is told not only to release his wealth but to give to the poor. The resources he protects could become provision for someone else. Love asks us to consider whether what we call security has made us less generous, less attentive, or less willing to respond to a need directly in front of us. When the young man leaves, Jesus tells His disciples how difficult it is for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven. The disciples are astonished and ask who can be saved. Jesus answers that this is impossible with man but possible with God. Salvation is not achieved by becoming detached enough, generous enough, married enough, single enough, or morally impressive enough. It is the work of God received through dependent trust. Generosity and faithfulness are responses to grace, not payments for it. Peter points out that the disciples have left everything and asks what they will receive. Jesus assures them that nothing surrendered for His sake is forgotten, but He also warns that many who are first will be last, and the last first. Even sacrifice can become another ranking system. The way of love releases both possessions and the demand for recognition. As you sit with Matthew 19, notice where hardness, disappointment, or self-protection has affected the way you relate to someone. Love may ask you to listen, acknowledge harm, apologize, seek counsel, or establish a boundary. The faithful response will not be identical in every situation, but it will be honest about both truth and safety. Consider who becomes easy to overlook because they have less influence or usefulness. There may be a child, neighbor, family member, coworker, or person in your church who rarely receives your unhurried attention. Love may not require a dramatic intervention. It may begin by noticing, listening, including, encouraging, or making room. Then ask what possession, level of comfort, or measure of success has too much influence over your sense of security. You do not need to feel ashamed for having resources or planning responsibly. Ask whether fear has closed your hands and whether generosity could become a practical expression of trust. Finally, bring one possible response before Jesus. It may be a boundary, apology, act of service, or act of generosity. Do not pressure yourself into an unsafe situation or assume that love always means renewed access. Ask for a response that is both faithful and wise. The question is not what love would require from everyone in general. It is what following Jesus is asking of you here. Prayer Jesus, teach me to love with truth, faithfulness, wisdom, and courage. Reveal where hardness, disappointment, or self-protection has shaped the way I relate to others. Give me humility to repent where I have caused harm and wisdom to seek safety and help where harm is being done. Help me see people who are easily overlooked. Keep me from measuring anyone by their influence, usefulness, age, ability, relationship status, or resources. Give me Your attentiveness and make room in my life for the people You place before me. Show me what I am holding too tightly. Free me from finding my identity in possessions, comfort, achievement, or the approval that comes with them. Make me generous without making me reckless, and teach me to trust Your care while using what I have responsibly. Make the next response of love clear. If I need to apologize, establish a boundary, serve, give, listen, or ask for help, give me courage to act. Thank You that salvation and transformation do not depend on my ability to prove myself. What is impossible for me is possible with You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Journaling
Beginning the Conversation
Matthew 19 brings together relationships, children, possessions, and the cost of following Jesus. These are not abstract subjects. They touch the places where we often feel most protective. Jesus does not treat people as disposable, children as distractions, or possessions as harmless when they begin to own the heart.
Journal Questions
1 . Where has hardness, disappointment, or self-protection affected the way I relate to someone?
2 . Who is easy for me to overlook because they have less influence, power, or usefulness?
3 . What possession, level of comfort, or measure of success has too much influence over my sense of security?
4 . What boundary, apology, act of service, or act of generosity would love require from me?
Close the Page
Do not use this page to pressure yourself into an unsafe situation. Love can include truth, boundaries, and asking for help. Write the next response that is both faithful and wise.